We’ve all heard before that we should take responsibility. Our parents tell us to take responsibility when we lie about breaking a window, and our bosses tell us when we screw up at work and we want to find anyone else to blame it on.
I’m not really talking about that kind of responsibility.
I’m talking about accepting and taking ownership of everything that happens in your life.
- If you hate your job it’s your fault. Not because of your boss, not your co-workers either, it’s yours!
- If you aren’t getting along with your family that’s your fault too. Not your crazy brother or your neurotic parents, yours!
- If you don’t make enough money, or don’t have the opportunities that you feel others have, that’s your fault too. Not the guy who gave you bad grade on an essay that made you fail your degree. Not the guy who wouldn’t give you a job because the interview wasn’t fair. That’s all you!
Taking responsibility is revolutionary for helping you take control of your life.
Think about it; if you blame other people for all the things wrong with your life then you are handing the control to them, even if they don’t want it or even know that they have it. Your feelings are something that only you can control.
For a lot of people it gives them an excuse for not living the kind of life they want to live. When it is someone else’s fault that provides a great excuse for not living their ideal life. That lets them carry on without pursuing their dreams or becoming the self-actualized person that they could be if they tried. It protects them from the damage that failure does to their sense of self.
Let me give you an example from my own situation a few years ago, before I discovered the power of taking responsibility.
I was bored out of my mind at my job. I was working at a Junior High School in Nagoya, Japan and the monotony of teaching the same materials ten times per week and not having any creative freedom was getting me down. My conversations with friends outside of work and my thoughts were often consumed by feeling trapped in a bad situation. To be honest I don’t think I would have wanted to be friends with me then.
And now that I know better I realise that it was completely and 100% my fault!
Instead I should have taken responsibility for those feelings and realised that it was my interpretation of my situation that made it hard to deal with, not the situation itself. I thoroughly believe now that any situation a person is in, aside from kidnapping and physical restraint, is 100% their choice. And believing that gives me the power to change my situation.
I cannot begin to tell you how much it will improve your self-confidence to know that you have power over your situation and your feelings. So next time you start blaming other people for your problems, realise that you are just passing the buck and that ultimately the decision and the control lies with you. Once you start doing this you will find that you have a lot more control over your situation than you think.
In my case:
- When I didn’t like my job, I made plans to quit.
- When I was lonely and didn’t know anyone in my new town I started a meetup.com group and met my girlfriend and made tons of new friends (who also looked up to me as an event organiser).
- When I didn’t like working for other people I started making plans for my own businesses.
If you aren’t getting what you want then its time to start changing things to make a difference in your life! Only you can do it, nobody is gonna come and fix your life for you!
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