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Blame and Perspective

Blame is built into the English language, and this affects us deeply, and silently. If I drop my mother’s favourite china plate in the kitchen, in English we might say, “You dropped the plate!” You… I live in Japan, and in Japanese we might...

Why do we feel shame?

Shame is one of the most counterproductive and long-term harmful emotions.   When we feel shame we self-destruct, we push others away and we make the situation worse – without intervention this can feel like a downward spiral. Depression feeds on this (the shame...

Judging is Easy, Empathy is Hard

We judge. Human beings judge. It’s unavoidable. We can choose, however, to set our first judgements aside and look again, look harder, and look for the story that we aren’t seeing. What’s the difference between the story we see, and the story the...